panties

NORCROSS, GA—Choking on the lacy fabric he had expected to find delicious, local man David Garay reportedly took two bites of a pair of panties Wednesday before realizing they weren’t edible. “Wait, what the hell? This isn’t tasty at all!”…

CHICAGO—Rushing into the kitchen with shock after noticing the burnt candy odor, local man Tyler Suderman reportedly ruined Valentine’s Day dinner Tuesday after accidentally overcooking the edible underwear he had prepared for his…

CINCINNATI—Bemoaning the anxiety he felt when approaching new people, local man Roger Linden confirmed Tuesday that his fear of rejection was preventing him from going up to a woman and asking her what her underwear smelled like. “I’m…