peanut butter

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AURORA, IL—Wondering aloud to himself why they made those things so damn small, local dad Henry Jackson reportedly blew through 10 of his child’s snack packs in one sitting Monday. “Goddamn, no matter how many of these I eat, I’m still…

LOS ANGELES—Inundated with explicit and obscene messages from strangers online, the direct message folder of local dog Coco, a female beagle with 1.3 million followers on Instagram, was reportedly filled with unsolicited dick pics Tuesday.…

ATLANTA – In an effort to counter the high numbers of vaccine skeptics in the nation, the CDC has recently announced that they will be hiding doses in peanut butter. “We’ve kind of abandoned any hope of convincing these people using…