point and click

CHICAGO—As a capstone to a record-breaking day for the internationally recognized brand’s views and advertising revenue, The Onion released a statement Wednesday confirming that it had used all of the funds raised from its annual Click…

EVERYWHERE—Wondering when the unending barrage of content from The Onion’s Click Drive might finally give way, the nation was informed by insiders at the media outlet Wednesday that they would not stop pestering people until they gave in…

YOUR DATA- OR WIFI-ENABLED DEVICE—Feeling crushed under the oppressive demands to click and click and click on TheOnion.com, the nation was informed by experts from The Onion’s Click Drive Wednesday that this could all be made to stop for…

ATLANTA—Saying that when it came to manual strength and dexterity the only options were to “use it or lose it,” the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued a new set of health guidelines Wednesday that recommended a minimum of six…

NEW YORK—Imploring him to turn away before it was too late, a tiny voice in the back of area man Matthew Nanousi’s head reportedly whispered, “You don’t have to do this!” as he prepared to click on an article Wednesday about actor Michael…