police

WINDSOR, ON – A days-long protest on the Ambassador Bridge between Canada and the USA has come to a swift end after police employed the heretofore unimaginable tactic of doing their jobs even a little bit. With trade across the border…

OTTAWA – The Ottawa Police Service issued a statement apologising to the protesters that descended on the nation’s capital this past weekend for any trouble their presence may have caused to members of the convoy. “While it may seem from…

EDMONTON – Alberta MLA Kaycee Madu has called on Police Chief Dale MacFee to “help take care of” an independent probe into the incident where Madu called on Chief MacFee after receiving a traffic ticket. “When I’ve landed myself in hot…

VANCOUVER – The Vancouver Police Department is assuring Vancouverites worried about interacting with unvaccinated cops that they always have the option of running away from the police instead. “We do not require our officers be vaccinated,…

TORONTO – Over one hundred uniformed members of the Toronto Police Services who have not been vaccinated have been placed on unpaid leave after being informed they did not meet the brutality requirement to access paid leave. “I want to…

TORONTO – As the deadline looms for Toronto police to get vaccinated or be put on unpaid leave, many officers who spend their days writing speeding tickets are refusing to get “an unnecessary shot” just because “the man” says it’s necessary…

CALGARY- After announcing he would not be stepping down as Ward 4 Councilor amid protests over his 1997 sexual assault of a minor, Sean Chu said he is deeply disappointed that his current coworkers aren’t nearly as chill about it as his…

SAN FRANCISCO – After decades of unresolved police investigations, the notorious Zodiac Killer, who terrorized Northern California in the late 1960s, has been identified as some friggin’ dude no one’s ever heard of. “We’re thrilled to have…

Illinois has become the first state to bar police officers from lying and using other deceptive tactics when interrogating juveniles, such as promising leniency or insinuating that incriminating evidence exists. What do you think?“But it’s…

Despite recently receiving $190 million from the Biden Administration, the City Council of Oakland, California voted Thursday to defund their police department by almost $18 million. The city’s crime rates have skyrocketed, seeing a 90…