Relationship

REGINA – According to sexually frustrated sources, Charlie Walker is facing criticism for trying to set a romantic mood with an excess of banjo music. “Look, I get it, the right twanging chord can definitely get me over the edge,” said…

THUNDER BAY, ON – Optometrist Dr. Emily Hu wasn’t looking for a new case study when she discovered her new boyfriend Hunter Nelson’s excellent far vision somehow hindered his ability to find the clitoris at close range. “BADD, or Bean…

VANCOUVER, BC – Spence Diamonds now offers an added incentive to holiday shoppers – a customer satisfaction guarantee that if the giftee does not give head, Spence will be there to offer his. As CEO Callum Beveridge explains: “this random…

WHITBY, ON – “Fair Enough,” responded local boyfriend Shaun Wright, after noticing a pause in his girlfriend’s mumblings, which he assumed to be the end of her story. The exchange took place this recent Friday evening, following a hectic…

Moncton, NB – On the third date when Donald McFlagen invited potential new girlfriend, Alexandra Jakins over, he was shocked when she had no interest in watching any of his favourite movies. McFlagen often uses the third date as a chance to…

EDMONTON – A scene straight out of an old-fashioned romance is unfolding at the West Edmonton Mall McDonald’s as a modern knight is ordering his date’s meal for her. “Tell me, do you desire both honey mustard sauce, and sweet ‘n sour?” the…

YOUR PARENTS HOUSE – In the never-ending series of life choices you’ve made that baffle your parents, today they are wondering why you’re wasting your time trying to find a partner you like when you could just settle for someone willing to…

VANCOUVER – A local couple are having a hard time finding the right amount of life insurance coverage that would protect their future but not inspire them to murder one another. Michael and Caroline Hobbes have a mortgage, they own a car…

SUDBURY, ON – Proud feminist Brad Daniels revealed that he only uses “hysterical”, a term that labels emotional women as hormonal, when it really is his girlfriend’s time of the month. Brad, who owns no fewer than three Ruth Bader Ginsberg…

VANCOUVER – Family and friends of Ted and Cecilia Watanabe found themselves whisked away to a realm of wonder, enchantment, and lupine violence at the couple’s wedding this past weekend. “We knew we had to do an outdoor wedding after…