religion and politics

VATICAN CITY—Appearing at the altar of St. Peter’s Basilica in the same vestments he’d worn the day before, a hungover Pope Francis reportedly played a Bible-themed movie Thursday during morning mass. “All right, so today for church we’re…

VATICAN CITY—As youthful vigor rapidly returned to the supreme pontiff, Pope Francis reportedly appeared 40 years younger Friday after finally masturbating for the first time. “Since finally pleasuring myself after all these years, I look…