residential schools

EDMONTON – Premier Danielle Smith has held a press conference apologising for the inefficiency of her recent apologies. “I apologised for parroting pro-Putin talking points about Ukraine, and I kind of half-assedly apologised for calling…

LONDON, UK — Following the discovery of unmarked mass graves in Ukraine Prime Minister Justin Trudeau showed no tolerance for Russian President Vladimir Putin, declaring “Any country (besides Canada) that commits such atrocities must be…

OTTAWA – After numerous empty apologies to Indigenous Peoples backed by little to no substantive action or restitution, Pope Francis arrived in Canada this week to officially take over empty apology duties from an exhausted Prime Minister…

OTTAWA, ONT – The Catholic church is reportedly one broken commandment away from getting a full card bingo. “It’s a real nail-biter,” began Father Owen Karmichael, after flashing his almost complete bingo card. “This whole thing started off…

KAMLOOPS – Reeling from a series of suspicious fires across British Columbia, the Catholic Church was reminded of the good that arson has also done. “While it is possible to use fire to systematically wipe out all traces of a culture or…

VATICAN CITY – As Canadians and Indigenous Peoples demand accountability and remorse from the Catholic Church for their role in the genocidal Residential Schools institutions that Canada operated for decades, Pope Francis released a…