restaurant

Steinbach, MB – After briefly perusing the menu at a local Italian restaurant, Irene Everett concluded her adult son would probably like the risotto best. “I know my mom means well, but I’m a grown man who can read a menu and decide I want…

HALIFAX – To the delight of its longstanding customers, Jimmy’s Seafood and Steak Shack has recently installed a 200 galleon tank full of live lobsters so customers can have their pick of which one they want to fuck. “Jimmy’s has long had…

NEW YORK—Humiliated by the front-of-house manager’s derision, local diner Geoff Telsey was reportedly forced to wear the maître d’s toupee Friday after arriving at the restaurant Chez Moreau bald. “Sir, we require hair in the dining room,”…

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It was a nice, long holiday weekend — God bless the troops! — and I’m not ready to kill my buzz by talking about politics just yet. But I am ready to address this highly important New York Times article about how dining out is so…

MONCTON – Officials announced Monday that local health inspector Burt Beynolds has been let go from his position as city health inspector for judging restaurants according to his particular preferences, instead of municipal bylaws.…

TORONTO – In a bold new move, restaurants are adding the option to tip your server’s whole salary. After successful tipping increases to 20% and even 30%, business owners decided to keep it going and externalize all their labour costs.…

EDMONTON – According to local sources, the diners at Pirate Pete’s Pasta Paradise are noticing that the restaurant’s elaborate theme menu burns through all its good ideas in its first half. “The menu opens with the elaborate tale of…

PETROLIA, ON – White Fox Gastropub wooed the local community today by announcing that they will pay employees a living wage despite only scheduling four three-hour shifts per week. “I’m here to show the restaurant business an incredible…

Regina, SK – Local man Michael Edugyan has realized that the 3 year old toddler seated near him at this restaurant is better at using her iPad than he is at doing everything in his life. “I noticed how good she was at controlling this…