rogers

TORONTO – After announcing they had acquired majority control of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment, the board of Rogers Communications reassured Leafs, Raptors, TFC and Argos fans that soon, their teams will be just as successful as the…

TORONTO – The Board of Rogers Communications, owner of the Toronto Blue Jays, have expressed their shock at the information that they are within their rights to fire the executive team of Mark Shapiro and Ross Atkins on account of the team…

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OTTAWA – A recent Angus Reid study has confirmed that Canadian voters are not sure who they will support in the next election, and are willing to give their support to whichever candidate promises to slap Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Jr smack…

OTTAWA – As Elon Musk completes his unintentional mission to reduce twitter, which he bought for 44 billion dollars, to a pile of smoldering ash, Canadians are hoping his next investment will be our big telecoms. “Musk took a incredibly…

TORONTO – Rogers Family board member John Tory has been allowed to continue his night job as mayor of the city of Toronto. “I am thrilled to have the opportunity to serve the people of Toronto,” said Tory at a press conference next to an…

PRINCE ALBERT, SK – As internet service returns to hundreds of Rogers customers nationwide, local copywriter Jack Pally’s plan to enjoy literature has been postponed yet again until the next time he has absolutely no other source of…

TORONTO – After a massive nationwide outage left people without internet, cable or phone for 24 hours or longer Rogers Communications Inc. reiterated how sorry it was and promised that everyone who suffered would received a free copy of Ted…

MOSCOW – Russian President Vladimir Putin has determined that allowing the existence of Rogers Telecommunications as a major provider in Canada is much better than launching a cyber attack against the country. “Why hack into the country’s…

TORONTO – Rogers Canada has proudly announced that all of their customers nationwide who experienced cellphone and internet outages yesterday will only be charged a low $10 service charge for the telcom company’s new “Unplug and Relax”…