Romance

The most romantic day of the year is almost here, but what if you’re busy this Valentine’s Day? Don’t start preparing for divorce court just yet; with a little planning and the right attitude, Groundhog Day can be every bit as sensual.…

OTTAWA — Canada’s Air Transport Security Authority has announced that travellers averse to being scanned by invasive technology will now have the option to be gracefully sketched like one of the beautiful French models the security officers…

“Twisters,” released July 19 as a standalone sequel to the 1996 action film by (nearly) the same name, is a box office hit by any measure. The movie has grossed $220 million, received rave reviews from critics, and set the record for the…

Amanda Marcotte, a feminist writer infamous for describing Hallmark movies as “fascist propaganda,” penned an article in the Salon on Tuesday warning young women not to marry young. Using the Lauren Boebert “Beetlejuice” theater scandal as…

Reality “dating” shows distort reality in a way that feeds our baser natures, monetizing a pact between exhibitionists and voyeurs. In a world that already struggles with its understanding of romance and human sexual relationships, these…

FAKE NEW YORK – Emma Sanford, a character in the recent Netflix romcom Here And/Or There who recently experienced an upsetting breakup, has reported being unable to find the perfect wall to slide down as she cries. “My apartment walls are…

PRINCE ALBERT – According to local historians, 98-year-old Dorothy Lamb exchanged letters with Prime Minister Diefenbaker they describe as “thoughtful,” “nuanced,” and “almost impossibly horny.” “We were helping grandma move into a…

EDMONTON – A scene straight out of an old-fashioned romance is unfolding at the West Edmonton Mall McDonald’s as a modern knight is ordering his date’s meal for her. “Tell me, do you desire both honey mustard sauce, and sweet ‘n sour?” the…

VANCOUVER – It was last Saturday, a brisk afternoon on Main Street, just North of 5th Avenue. I was the person walking their wiener dog. You were the public urinator. When I saw you there, hunched into the corner of a nearby building, I let…

There comes a time in every relationship when we must ask ourselves: is he really into me, or is he just using me… to free his family from the curse bestowed upon them by a witch long ago? Of course, there is only one way to know for sure:…