safety

I recently wrote about an extraordinarily misleading Kaiser Family study that claimed “1 in 5” Americans have a family member who has been killed by a gun. Kaiser’s inflated findings were based on a small sample size of self-reported…

AMARILLO, TX—In a detailed tutorial on what they described as one of the most basic rules for handling a weapon, instructors teaching a local gun safety course Thursday stressed the importance of always making sure a firearm was completely…

FAYETTEVILLE, AR—Suggesting that he must possess all kinds of useful traits that would lie dormant until the right occasion presented itself, local man Ken Pearson told reporters Friday that he must be one of those people whose leadership…

CHICAGO—In a rousing success story that has eliminated all criminal activity from the streets of the metropolis, Chicago was finally declared safe Thursday after every single resident was hired as a police officer. “As part of our…

WASHINGTON—An AMBER Alert ringing out across the country to no one, the nation was placed in a state of emergency Thursdayafter the entire population went missing. “After being unable to determine the whereabouts of all 330 million…

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ATLANTA – More than fifteen months into the global COVID-19 pandemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has announced that children returning to in-person learning can finally take off their facemasks, and immediately replace…

CALGARY – Darin Hendricks, a self-identified male feminist ally, thinks women who don’t want to be attacked should have their keys surgically implanted between their fingers like Wolverine. In a sign of solidarity, Hendricks was…

Police in Pakistan’s capital have deployed an armed rollerblading unit to curb theft and harassment, clarifying that the officers would only carry smaller handguns to avoid the risk of ricocheting bullets. What do you think?“I wouldn’t feel…