Satan

VANCOUVER – Marine researchers were initially happy to report that three critically endangered killer whales have recently become pregnant all at the same time, until further tests revealed that each whale had been impregnated by the same…

BARRIE, ON – After reading about the latest controversy surrounding the Catholic church, devout Satanist Damien Winslow is conflicted on whether or not his faith is doing enough of the devil’s work. “Not to diminish all the evil done by…

THE AFTERLIFE – Former U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who died today at the age of 88, will reportedly get his long-awaited chance to confront deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein as the two are set to be reunited in Hell’s…

Rapper Lil Nas X has released 666 pairs of modified Nike Air Max 97 shoes decorated with a pentagram pendant and containing a drop of real human blood, stirring controversy and selling out in under a minute. What do you think?“I’ve always…

ETERNAL FLAMING REALM OF HELL – Having recently passed away from lung cancer, Rush Limbaugh, upon arriving in Satan’s land of eternal punishment, immediately lambasted the Prince of Darkness for his “liberal bias.” “The fact that this…