scavengers

PARIS—In what has been hailed as a breakthrough in how one must confront the sheer nothingness that pervades all being, existential researchers at the Collège international de philosophie announced Thursday that they had taught a rat to run…

A man in Deschutes County, OR is being treated for a strain of the bubonic plague that he contracted from his pet cat, which succumbed to the disease after hunting rats in an area where the ailment is endemic to the rodent population. What…

An X post showing a hole in the sidewalk of West Roscoe Street in Chicago in the precise shape of a rat where it fell in wet concrete went viral last week, turning the spot into an overnight tourist destination, with hundreds showing up to…

GLEN ELLYN, IL—Gesturing excitedly at the screen while the ambivalent canine lay beside him, local man John Eggert urged his dog Monday to pay attention while a dog was on TV. “Look, look, Pickles—that dog looks just like you,” Eggert said…

WOODSIDE, CA—Noting that he had gotten too big for his britches since he uploaded the photo, sources confirmed Tuesday that local dad Brian Flannery was really letting his newfound fame from a Nextdoor coyote post go to his head.…

128 Grazer, a female brown bear described as boasting a combination of “skill and toughness,” was crowned the winner of Fat Bear Week, the annual competition to see which Alaskan bears can pack on the most pounds before hibernation season.…

“I was filming a rat skittering across the street, and, uh, it saw me, it really looked like it was making eye contact with me, and it seemed like, like it, um, wanted me to follow, so I-I did, and I followed it down this alley, and it…

ALBUQUERQUE, NM—According to a new study published Thursday in the Journal Of Anthropological Research, early humans domesticated wolves after numerous failed attempts at domesticating crocodiles. “Discouraged by a lack of progress and…

KEARNEY, NE—In an effort to put the man’s behavior into context by describing it as part of an intergenerational cycle of violence, a psychologist stated Friday that local 38-year-old Todd Adelwright mostly likely abused his dog because he…