school shooting

The Associated Propaganda — I mean, Associated Press (AP) — deliberately misquoted vice presidential hopeful J.D. Vance on Thursday before deleting the original post and publishing a weak, semi-updated version following backlash. By then,…

WASHINGTON—Shedding light on the possible reasons for a dip in such news coverage, a report released Friday found that school shootings were either way down or too depressing for the media to cover. “Really, there are two possibilities…

In addition to being underpaid for teaching their lessons, providing childcare, and serving as mentors to the next generation, teachers are also underpaid for protecting their students from armed assailants. The Onion asked teachers why…

UVALDE, TX—In the wake of a devastating school shooting and reports that his officers did not receive adequate active-shooter training, an investigation showed Monday that Uvalde Police Chief Daniel Rodriguez waited nearly two years in the…

Only five days have passed since a 17-year-old shot up his school in Perry, Iowa, killing one and injuring five. Yet anyone looking for updates about the tragedy would be hard-pressed to find it on the front pages of any corporate outlet,…

PLANO, TX—Citing faulty HVAC systems and temperatures over 100 degrees, Plano Independent School District in North Texas canceled classes Friday over concerns that the extreme heat made its campuses unsafe for mass shootings. “We take the…

Prior to the recent Nashville shooting in which a transgender-identifying shooter shot and killed three children and three staff at a small Christian school, the identity-obsessed ruling class jumped to condemn shooters. When police…

The media are blaming the Nashville school shooter’s reportedly Christian parents’ rejection of her transgender delusions for turning her into a murderer. But her parents’ influence might have been the best thing to keep her from the path…

Uvalde, TX – A wave of relief washed over the Republican party today as they learned no fetuses were harmed in yesterday’s shootings at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. “Thank God,” said Texas Republican spokesperson Denver…