Science and Technology

GREAT EXUMA, BERMUDA — Thousands of excited would-be Martians gathered at MarsFest to enthuse over Elon Musk’s most recent vow to colonize the categorically inhospitable Red Planet. Citing Space-X PR, Zubrin’s Mars Direct, von Braun’s…

WATERLOO, ON – A local self-published “author”, Chaz Wolverton, 25, is extolling the brighter side of plagiarism engines like ChatGPT and Grok. “I’ve always been jealous of the glory authors get,” explained Wolverton, assembling fresh…

OTTAWA – Newly-appointed Minister of Artificial Intelligence Evan Solomon reportedly spent his first day asking ChatGPT “Hi there, my name is Evan Solomon and I’m Canada’s Minister of AI. What should I do?” “Since I’m the first ever…

ORLANDO, FL – In the wake of the recent mid-air explosion of a SpaceX rocket, thousands mourn as the company confirms that the CEO, Elon Musk, was not aboard the ship. Following what a SpaceX rep Orwellianly described as a “Rapid…

COPENHAGEN – An international coalition of scientists with expertise in quantum mechanics, wave theory and atomic structure have assembled at the Nils Bohr Institute to tackle the newly-discovered, deeply troubling temporal paradox that…

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – The pair of NASA astronauts stranded by mechanical failures on Boeing’s new Starliner spacecraft have been offered $200 in coupons from the company to be used on their next trip into space. Captains Butch Wilmore…

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