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Science and Technology

80s nostalgia peaks with return of hole in ozone layer

WATERLOO – The 80s revival inspired by the hit Netflix show Stranger Things has reached new heights as scientists announced they have discovered a hole in the ozone layer. “If you thought the worst part of 80s nostalgia was leg warmers and…

Pervert astronomers posting hole

WASHINGTON, DC – An international conglomerate of horndog scientists have made the news by posting hole on main. “The hole we’ve discovered is dense and tight,” said Event Horizon Telescope spokesman Aiden Greaves. “We would let it suck us…

Florida introduces ‘Don’t Say Science’ Bill

TALLAHASSEE, FL – Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida is now the highest ranking state politician to voice his endorsement of Bill 467 – the ‘Don’t Say Science’ bill. “I couldn’t be prouder of our legislature for having the bravery to finally…

Wait, is the floor lava? A volcanologist weighs in

TORONTO – With the success of the Netflix show Floor is Lava and the children’s song ‘The Floor is Lava’ by the Kiboomers, the question of whether the floor is lava or not has never been more relevant. To get some clarity on the issue, we…

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