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Science and Technology

NASA warns alien life may not be fuckable

WASHINGTON – Following a recent uptick in UFO interest, NASA cautioned curious citizens against the notion that extraterrestrial life will be sexually desirable. NASA’s interstellar sexual health spokesperson, Clarice Kravult, decried the…

Mars rover fined for non-essential travel

SACRAMENTO, CA – California Governor Gavin Newsom announced yesterday that the Mars Rover, Perseverance, was going to have to pay a significant fine for breaking the COVID-19 rules on non-essential travel after he discovered that it had…

Experts baffled after so many lives enriched by Reddit

NATIONWIDE – Following the success of the Gamestop short-squeeze largely instigated by the r/wallstreetbets subreddit, many experts are amazed to witness the website acting as a positive force in people’s lives, in stark contrast to its…

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