Scripture

ELAH VALLEY — A young boy named David has found himself under intense scrutiny and condemnation for his alleged violence against a kindly Palestinian giant named Goliath. Those critical of the young boy's action call this yet another tragic…

OXFORD — Citing newly discovered evidence and a reinterpretation of some of the earliest available Hebrew texts, leading biblical scholars now believe Noah made over 977 trips to Home Depot during the ark's construction.Though not…

JERUSALEM — After a difficult week subduing mobs and navigating political landmines, Governor Pontius Pilate was relieved on Saturday to finally have the whole "Jesus of Nazareth" ordeal over and done with for good."Whew, glad that's behind…

From the beginning of recorded history, people have turned to religion as a way to find refuge, solace, and meaning. Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Islam, and most other religions point to their own prophets and teachers, but…

BETHLEHEM — Mary and Joseph, the parents of Jesus, who is called Christ, were reportedly shocked to receive an itemized bill following their "free stay" in a stable that included a $3,000 Airbnb cleaning fee."A cleaning fee? For what? The…

JACKSONVILLE, TN — Baptist Publishing House has announced the publication of a new English translation of the Bible, the New Baptist Version or NBV, which helpfully replaces all instances of the word ‘hell' with ‘heck'."This is a necessary…

It's something that's been debated by Bible scholars since the Earth was created some 6,023 years ago: what will the Mark of the Beast mentioned in the book of Revelation turn out to be? Well, it will no longer be debated, because we found…

AUSTIN, TX — Continuing its mission to show how Taylor Swift can point people to Christ, The Gospel Coalition proudly announced the release today of Fearless: The Taylor Swift Study Bible."It's like a Taylor Swift concert, but in book form…

GATH — As the giant Goliath lay sprawled on the ground, defeated by a small shepherd boy, he couldn't help but reflect on the impending onslaught of poorly constructed metaphors about his defeat."Ugh, this is it, isn't it?" Goliath…

MADABA, JORDAN — After receiving John the Baptist's head on a platter as requested, Herod's daughter started to wish she had just asked for a cute purse instead."Now that I'm looking at this severed head, I kind of wish I had gone with a…