Scripture

Every author has felt the sting of rejection at some point or another — but imagine the pain of having the Holy Spirit deny your manuscript!Due to recent archaeological advances, we at the Babylon Bee have recently discovered an entirely…

FORD OF THE JABBOK — Newly unearthed scrolls have revealed the ringside commentary from the wrestling match between Jacob and the Angel of the Lord, as well as the incredible, prime-time rematch Jacob v. Angel II that followed.The…

ELAH VALLEY — A young boy named David has found himself under intense scrutiny and condemnation for his alleged violence against a kindly Palestinian giant named Goliath. Those critical of the young boy's action call this yet another tragic…

OXFORD — Citing newly discovered evidence and a reinterpretation of some of the earliest available Hebrew texts, leading biblical scholars now believe Noah made over 977 trips to Home Depot during the ark's construction.Though not…

JERUSALEM — After a difficult week subduing mobs and navigating political landmines, Governor Pontius Pilate was relieved on Saturday to finally have the whole "Jesus of Nazareth" ordeal over and done with for good."Whew, glad that's behind…

From the beginning of recorded history, people have turned to religion as a way to find refuge, solace, and meaning. Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, Islam, and most other religions point to their own prophets and teachers, but…

BETHLEHEM — Mary and Joseph, the parents of Jesus, who is called Christ, were reportedly shocked to receive an itemized bill following their "free stay" in a stable that included a $3,000 Airbnb cleaning fee."A cleaning fee? For what? The…

JACKSONVILLE, TN — Baptist Publishing House has announced the publication of a new English translation of the Bible, the New Baptist Version or NBV, which helpfully replaces all instances of the word ‘hell' with ‘heck'."This is a necessary…

It's something that's been debated by Bible scholars since the Earth was created some 6,023 years ago: what will the Mark of the Beast mentioned in the book of Revelation turn out to be? Well, it will no longer be debated, because we found…

AUSTIN, TX — Continuing its mission to show how Taylor Swift can point people to Christ, The Gospel Coalition proudly announced the release today of Fearless: The Taylor Swift Study Bible."It's like a Taylor Swift concert, but in book form…