Scripture

JERUSALEM — While holding a feast for his court, King Solomon reportedly became so embarrassed by loud chewing from his 48th wife, Tiffany, that he left in shame and assembled his loyal advisors to weigh the feasibility of demoting her to…

While many believe essential oils to be a modern Christian phenomenon, these potent extracts actually played a role in some of Scripture's most familiar narratives! Here are the nine remarkable Bible stories that feature high-quality…

BETHLEHEM — According to sources close to Mary, the Mother of Jesus, the young Jewish mom was touched by the gifts brought to her by the wise men: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Still, she was a bit disappointed that none of them had…

U.S. — The publisher Zondervan has released a new Bible translation where the words "if you know what I mean" have been added to the end of every verse in Song of Solomon."It reads so much better," said Pastor John Piper. "I really feel…

NAZARETH — According to those close to Joseph and Mary, Prominent OB/GYN Dr. Zacchaus of Nazareth pulled Joseph aside after Mary's latest checkup to tell him hauling his pregnant wife to Bethlehem on the back of a donkey was kind of a bad…

BETHLEHEM — Archaeologists have discovered the unmistakable remains from humongous "Minion" inflatables that Mary and Joseph used to decorate the front of the stable."After a thorough analysis, our team can confidently report that Joseph…

ZORAH, ISRAEL — Following a string of record-breaking feats of strength, conditioning, and weight loss thanks to a full commitment to his keto lifestyle, Israelite strongman Samson found himself facing a whirlwind of temptation when his…

ISRAEL — Rookie heavenly angel Raphael unleashed total panic after forgetting to shout "fear not" upon showing himself to a group of Israelites."What a noob!!" cackled the angel Gabriel, as he doubled over with laughter. "Those poor people…

BEER-LAHAI-ROI — Biblical scholars have come to a unanimous conclusion that the food for which Esau sold his birthright was actually a marshmallow & Jell-O salad.Ancient writings confirm Jacob prepared the delectable dish knowing how…

JERUSALEM — A local rabbi named Jesus has been accused of being a dangerous Christian Nationalist after saying that soon he will establish his kingdom over the whole earth. "This Jesus guy is clearly an enemy of our Liberal World Order,"…