Scripture

U.S. — Theologians from seminaries across the country have united in agreement that holy Scripture is 72% more powerful if read in an awesome foreign accent."The sacredness of the Biblical text receives an instant boost when you switch the…

GARDEN OF EDEN — Having gotten into a game of hide-and-seek with the omniscient God of the universe, Adam and Eve reported feeling confident that the Lord would never find them in their perfect hiding spot behind a tree."Totally…

JERUSALEM — While holding a feast for his court, King Solomon reportedly became so embarrassed by loud chewing from his 48th wife, Tiffany, that he left in shame and assembled his loyal advisors to weigh the feasibility of demoting her to…

While many believe essential oils to be a modern Christian phenomenon, these potent extracts actually played a role in some of Scripture's most familiar narratives! Here are the nine remarkable Bible stories that feature high-quality…

BETHLEHEM — According to sources close to Mary, the Mother of Jesus, the young Jewish mom was touched by the gifts brought to her by the wise men: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Still, she was a bit disappointed that none of them had…

U.S. — The publisher Zondervan has released a new Bible translation where the words "if you know what I mean" have been added to the end of every verse in Song of Solomon."It reads so much better," said Pastor John Piper. "I really feel…

NAZARETH — According to those close to Joseph and Mary, Prominent OB/GYN Dr. Zacchaus of Nazareth pulled Joseph aside after Mary's latest checkup to tell him hauling his pregnant wife to Bethlehem on the back of a donkey was kind of a bad…

BETHLEHEM — Archaeologists have discovered the unmistakable remains from humongous "Minion" inflatables that Mary and Joseph used to decorate the front of the stable."After a thorough analysis, our team can confidently report that Joseph…

ZORAH, ISRAEL — Following a string of record-breaking feats of strength, conditioning, and weight loss thanks to a full commitment to his keto lifestyle, Israelite strongman Samson found himself facing a whirlwind of temptation when his…

ISRAEL — Rookie heavenly angel Raphael unleashed total panic after forgetting to shout "fear not" upon showing himself to a group of Israelites."What a noob!!" cackled the angel Gabriel, as he doubled over with laughter. "Those poor people…