sedans

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Speaking before a crowd of loyal supporters, former President Donald Trump warned Tuesday that electric vehicles were raping and murdering American citizens. “You go to one of these charging ports, and they’ll just have their…

TOYOTA CITY, JAPAN—Noting that the policy was clearly stated in the purchase agreement for every vehicle it sold, Toyota revealed Thursday that any babies conceived in the backseats of their cars belonged to them. “If you, as a Toyota…

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Having surveyed a group that included more than 1,500 factory workers, dishwashers, and house painters, a team of researchers published a new study Thursday that found ashing a cigarette out of a cracked car window on a…

TROY, MI—After naming the make and model the most promiscuous in its class, consumer analytics firm J.D. Power and Associates announced Tuesday that it had chosen the Hyundai Elantra as the sluttiest car of 2023. “Based on our own research…

NEW YORK—Crediting the spike to millions of Americans suddenly deciding to hold onto their aging vehicles a little longer, financial analysts reported that used car prices hit another new record Thursday after the old girl made it clear up…

DEARBORN, MI—Saying the time was now to take decisive action on climate change, Ford CEO Jim Farley launched the company’s electric vehicle push Monday by having his buddy stand watch while he stole a battery from a parked Toyota Prius.…