sex offender

CHICAGO—Failing to use the appropriate level of discretion, local man Keith Makarewicz took a second too long to adjust his balls, sources reported Tuesday. “Look, there’s nothing wrong with moving your testicles into a more comfortable…

WASHINGTON—With the passage of a landmark bill that received widespread bipartisan support in Congress and was immediately signed into law by President Biden, a new federal statute requires anyone who publicly announces their need to take a…

NEW YORK—Stressing that the memory seemed so fresh and vivid in their minds, the confused nation announced Monday that they could have sworn British entertainer Russell Brand was already a convicted sex offender. “Interesting...so Russell…

SAN FRANCISCO—Explaining that it was required by California law to notify them of its status, ChatGPT was reportedly informing users Wednesday that it was on the sex offender registry. “I will fulfill your prompt shortly, but first,…

The Sex Offender Management Board of the State of Colorado has voted to rebrand the term “sex offender,” replacing it with the euphemistic phrase, “adults who commit sexual offenses.” The board’s decision passed following a 10-6 vote…