sex

ST. JOHNS, NF- Local father of 3 Jake O’Leary confirmed speculation that getting the turkey ready for Christmas dinner is by far the most arousing activity he has done in roughly seven years. “It’s not something I’d like to admit, but I…

EDMONTON — Melissa Soares, frustrated with the sub-optimal aspects of her rabbit vibrator, has evicted it from her night-stand, exiling it to the Island of Misfit Sex Toys. “The gals on Sex and the City sure made some extravagant…

HBO’s “White Lotus” is the sharpest commentary on western decay in popular culture, a subtle and subversive invasion of America’s favorite medium. As the second season proved again on Sunday, Mike White challenges limp modern assumptions…

Bedroom, Ontario – While blowing off some steam after a long day at work, Michelle Trudy opened the small pouch next to her bed and turned her vibrator to her favourite setting, “Elon Musk Getting Destroyed On Twitter.” “It just never fails…

TORONTO – Recipe Unlimited Corporation, the owners of Swiss Chalet, have announced a collaboration with sex accessories corporation Durex that will finally see the release of Chalet Sauce flavoured lube. “A good flavoured lube can spice up…

Audiences that are tempted into the theater to see Todd Field’s new film “Tar” — which is widely perceived as Oscar bait — starring actress Cate Blanchett may know little or nothing about Gustav Mahler, J.S. Bach, or Glenn Gould. In…

EDMONTON – According to sources in Stacey Greene’s two-bedroom apartment, her roommate’s latest attempt at sex is not going well. “Taylor and their date disappeared into their room about 20 minutes ago, and since then there’s just…

You may be among the many women frightened by the downfall of Roe. Although we disagree, your anxiety is understandable: The pro-abortion media is not telling you the truth. From the Democratic Party to corporate America to Hollywood, our…

WOOD BUFFALO NATIONAL PARK, AB – Bird watchers are flocking to migratory hotspots across the country to witness the annual and literal fuckfest that is bird migration. “I’m not a pervert,” insists Leonard Moleskin, crouched in a bush,…

Isla Nublar – After two novels and five movies in the series, Universal Pictures has announced that the upcoming film, Jurassic World Dominion will finally show what audiences have been waiting decades for, dinosaurs fucking. “When you take…