sexualacts

Start SlideshowMany Americans do not know how to kiss. Here is how to kiss.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideFirst Get Your Tongue As Dry As PossibleFirst Get Your Tongue As Dry As PossibleNobody likes the feeling of a sloppy wet tongue…

Concertgoers say an attendee at a Los Angeles Philharmonic performance this past week reportedly had what one witness called “a loud and full-body orgasm” during Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 5. What do you think?“I hate when shows try to sh…

WASHINGTON—In an announcement that drew enthusiastic applause from the influencers and supporters in attendance, audience members at the Conservative Political Action Conference were reportedly encouraged Thursday to reach under their…

Start SlideshowMaking love can often be far more dangerous than expected. The Onion examines sex-related injuries that could send you to the hospital.AdvertisementPrevious SlideNext SlideJoining The Mile High Club And The Plane…

NEW YORK—Emerging from decades of self-imposed retirement to insert himself into your most intimate fantasies, actor and comedian Rick Moranis announced Monday that he had plans to pop into your head for no discernible reason right before…

INDIANAPOLIS—Signifying the absolute height of his prowess over the past four decades, dry humping at the age of 16 remained the peak of local man Ed Seldon’s abilities as a sexual partner, sources confirmed Wednesday. Several reports…

WASHINGTON—Realizing there were only hours left before the big moment, the U.S. populace reportedly kicked into overdrive Tuesday as it frantically prepared for romantic ejaculation. “Hurry up! Light the candles, arrange the flowers—it’s…

With an increasing number of people seeking professional help to address intimacy issues, The Onion examines the most common questions that sex therapists get asked.Advertisement2 / 25“This session comes with a happy ending, right?”List…