slang

BRAMALEA, ON — Local trendster Emily Ling established herself as the GOAT when she pushed the envelope by pouring awesome sauce onto cool beans, resulting in an amazeballs explosion of cray cray proportions. “OMG!” said Ling. “I know I’m…

SALT LAKE CITY—Displaying his ignorance in a misguided and failed attempt to sound cool, local white coworker Dan Tibbs, who has lately tried to incorporate Black slang into his vocabulary, was reportedly misusing the N-word on Monday. “He…

DALLAS—Neither bold nor committed enough to enact true environmental change, local chickenshit Anthony Stanback decided Tuesday that instead of blowing up an oil refinery, he would try to eat more locally sourced food. “I guess it wouldn’t…