snow

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TAPETHOK, NEPAL—Beaming with delight as he was carried down the south face of the Kangchenjunga mountain in a torrent of snow, ice, and rocks, alpinist Herman Stelling reportedly noted Thursday that the first few seconds of being swept up…

BOCA RATON, FL—Letting out several deep moans as she remarked upon the terrible winter storm battering the Midwest, local mom Carrie Whittacker, currently on vacation in southern Florida, reportedly took an almost pornographic pleasure…

BURLINGTON, ON – Penny Collier, 31, recently claimed to some international friends that “springtime in Canada is so beautiful”, clearly not remembering the endless months following winter where the sides of roads are covered in old, dirty…

VANCOUVER — In a shocking turn of events, Vancouver city officials have announced the city may soon be making the landmark purchase of a second snowplow. Residents of the usually mild-weathered metropolis are in disbelief, as many…

OTTAWA – Reports from homes across the nation have indicated that they’ve hurt their back shovelling snow once again. “God dammit, my fucking back,” said Keith, David, Steve, Danielle and millions of others. “I think I pulled a muscle.”…

ETOBICOKE — After reports surfaced that Doug Ford was spending Toronto’s first major blizzard of the year driving around helping drivers stranded by snow in his district, school teachers from across the city began deliberately driving into…

New York City education officials have announced that the nation’s largest school district will not be having any snow days in the next school year, and instead will be providing remote learning during severe weather. What do you think?“As…

BY CAMERON BUCKET Hear me out: I was strolling through the park, on one of my daily walks, when I passed a snow bank covered in yellow stains. Common sense told me not to eat the yellow snow. But then I thought, why not? Most of the time…