social issues

Mexico’s Supreme Court has thrown out all federal criminal penalties for abortion, ruling that national laws prohibiting the procedure violate women’s rights in a sweeping decision that extended Latin America’s trend of widening abortion…

TALLAHASSEE, FL—In an effort to enforce recent changes to Florida’s K-12 standards for social studies classes, a new bill signed into law this week by Gov. Ron DeSantis requires all educators to teach the state’s approved curriculum from…

EL PASO—Telling the same story over and over again about the “good old days” at the top of the polls, an old guy at the skatepark Thursday reportedly wouldn’t shut up about the time he was considered the future of the Democratic party,…

Start SlideshowUnder SB8, private citizens in Texas can sue anyone who aids or abets in an abortion after six weeks of pregnancy. The Onion asked Texans why helping someone get an abortion is a crime, and this is what they…

PEARSALL, TX—Explaining that it was hard not to feel inferior given their job responsibilities, ICE agent Marcus Snell admitted to reporters Thursday that he was jealous of his police officer friend who gets to kill actual Americans.…

EDINA, MN—Saying it wasn’t fair to put all the blame on millennials and Generation Z, enlightened baby boomer Fred Billinger explained Wednesday that America’s youth could hardly be held responsible for all the problems minorities had…

BURBANK, CA—In a new strategy to grow their subscriber count, the Walt Disney Company unveiled a Disney+ bundle Wednesday that came with full custody of users’ kids. “For a limited time, you can get Disney+, Hulu, ESPN, and the sole custody…

UTICA, NY—Nearly maintaining the moral standard from sunup to sundown, local hero Nathan Cessner reportedly made it almost an entire day this week without molesting a child. “I think he and his ability to not sexually assault minors for a…

NEW YORK—In an effort to educate low-income residents on the most affordable treatment options available to them, NYU Langone Health rolled out a new program Monday aimed at teaching community members to ignore their symptoms. “We want…

NEW YORK—In the wake of mounting legal troubles, including an indictment in Georgia on felony charges of tampering with the 2020 election, sources reported Friday that former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani had put himself up for adoption.…