social issues

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Touting the legislation as a common-sense victory for family values, Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) signed a new law Thursday requiring all Florida women to produce three healthy, white sons by the date of their 22nd birthday. “The…

WASHINGTON—Showing wide-ranging approval across all demographic groups regardless of political affiliation, a new poll from the Pew Research Center found Monday that the majority of U.S. citizens want immigration reform that includes making…

WASHINGTON—Calling the theft a profound wake-up call amid a nationwide epidemic of drug abuse, Congress passed bipartisan legislation to address the opioid crisis Wednesday after their addict cousin Clem stole their Xbox Series X. “Today,…

WASHINGTON—Saying they’d learned a lot about her life and the adversities she’d faced over the years, the nation’s white women announced Monday that they had a new perspective on socialite and media personality Paris Hilton. “After many…

Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) signed a bill preventing local Florida governments from requiring heat protection for people working outdoors, such as in construction or agriculture, becoming the second state to adopt such a law after Texas. What do…

While many supporters had hoped Donald Trump would support a 15-week federal abortion ban, the former president has instead stated that the issue should be left up to the states. The Onion explores the pros and cons of allowing each…

According to an announcement on its website, the Chechen Ministry of Culture banned all music with a tempo below 80 or above 116 beats per minute to “conform to the Chechen mentality and sense of rhythm,” thereby criminalizing many genres.…

WASHINGTON—In a historic ruling, the U.S. Supreme Court declared Tuesday that Americans have the right to roofies. “A sexual predator’s right to Rohypnol is an issue of personal liberty that must not be infringed upon,” said Justice Brett…

The U.S. government is updating its categories for race and ethnicity on forms such as the census for the first time in 27 years, adding more options including “Middle Eastern” and “North African” as well as allowing respondents to check…

SHELTON, CT—Saying it had severed all ties with the sandwich in the wake of disturbing new evidence from a federal investigation, the fast food franchise Subway confirmed Monday that its Chicken and Bacon Ranch Melt was also sexually…