socialissues

The Wyoming Republican Party is criticizing a bill that seeks to implement a minimum age requirement for marriage, saying in an email to members that the proposed law denies “the fundamental purpose of marriage” as well as “parental…

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL—Saying it was an easy gesture that was guaranteed to bring a smile to the boy’s face, local mother Janet Rialto told reporters Thursday that she always made sure to pack a little manifesto in her child’s lunch. “It’s a…

GLENDALE, AZ—When asked how he felt about the hotly anticipated Super Bowl LVII, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell told reporters Sunday that he was just hoping for a competitive game where no one died on field, mentioned the league’s record…

“What are we going to do? What are we going to DO?!? Let me tell you what Google has ALREADY FUCKING DONE FOR BLACK PEOPLE, okay? We did an MLK Google Doodle. Multiple MLK Doodles, in fact. We did a Sojourner Truth Doodle. We did a Rosa…

WASHINGTON—In a covert operation in which intelligence officials are believed to have targeted dozens of hotties across the globe, the CIA has engaged in a sophisticated, ongoing effort to get President Biden laid, a whistleblower at the…

MINNEAPOLIS—Assuring the public his department would never allow severe misconduct to go unpunished, the chief of police in Minneapolis vowed Monday that officer Bill Branum, who recently shot and killed an unarmed civilian during a traffic…

WASHINGTON—Claiming that previous laws were inconsistent with the U.S. Constitution, the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled this week that domestic abusers could not be barred from owning an instrument of vengeance. “According to the…

NEW YORK—In a move designed to make the curriculum more palatable to conservatives, the College Board announced Thursday that its revised AP African American Studies course would focus mostly on Herman Cain’s rise to CEO of a pizza…

LOS ANGELES—Arguing that the move would technically help decrease inequality across the city, members of the Los Angeles City Council announced Thursday that they hoped building a freeway through a white neighborhood could count as…

NEW YORK—In a remarkable turn of events that forced them to immediately surrender their long-held position of supremacy, white people were reportedly ousted as the master race Wednesday after their racist past came to light. “Today’s…