Sports

VATICAN CITY — Exercising his authority as Supreme Pontiff of the Roman Catholic Church, newly-elected Pope Leo XIV pronounced another 100-year curse on the Chicago Cubs.According to a statement released by the Vatican, the Chicago Cubs…

PITTSBURGH—After the Steelers signed him to a one-year, $13.6 million deal with performance incentives, quarterback Aaron Rodgers reportedly purchased a lavish underground bunker Tuesday in the heart of Pittsburgh. “I’ve always loved…

Sunrise, FL – In a landmark win for referee science, the team of Wes McCauley and Francis Charron have come up with a new way to help the Panthers win: physically blocking Oilers players in order to cause a turnover that led to a game…

U.S. — Professional gymnast Simone Biles called on social media today for female athletes to stop trying to beat male athletes and instead just give up like she did.Biles viciously attacked female athletes who support women's-only sports,…

It's not easy for girls to win a track meet in California these days, what with dudes now allowed to compete. But there is hope! Here are eight hacks young ladies can use against their male competitors to still come out victorious on the…

DENVER, CO — After starting the season with a 9-48 record, the Colorado Rockies have been officially demoted to a church softball league.Major League Baseball had initially considered sending the Rockies down to the minor leagues, but…

MIAMI, FLORIDA – After an intensely violent hockey match, the Florida Panthers have formed a line to shake hands and assure their opponents, the Carolina Hurricanes, that they feel no resentment after hours spent roughhousing, fighting, and…

MUNICH – French soccer champions Paris Saint-Germain were told by UEFA that, having accidentally eliminated all other clubs by a bookkeeping error in their complicated new tournament system, the federation now required them to play against…

After WNBA players reported racial slurs being yelled by fans, the league launched an investigation which turned up truly sickening results. Here are the eleven racial slurs that are often heard at WNBA games:"Let's go Fever, let's go":…

This year, auto racing fans got a lump of coal in their stocking. For some time, racing buffs have referred to the last Sunday in May as “Motorsports Christmas.” On that day, three of the world’s premier racing series have marquee events,…