Sports

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Providing context after the announcement of his new relationship with Donald Trump Jr.’s former spouse Vanessa Trump, Tiger Woods claimed Tuesday that in time he will fuck everyone’s ex-wife. “I appreciate that my dating…

If you were looking for a feel-good story to overdose on American patriotism, then Wyatt Hendrickson has got you covered. On Saturday, the Oklahoma State wrestler pulled off a stunning upset to win the national title at this year’s NCAA…

The University of Maine (UMaine) system decided to “side with sanity,” according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA), agreeing not to allow male athletes to compete in female sports following a federal funding threat from the Trump…

College sports aren’t just games. They’re a lifeline for countless young people who otherwise would never have had a pathway out of the hardships of their upbringing. Over a century ago, Teddy Roosevelt faced a slaughterhouse: college…

LYNCHBURG, VA — This week's championship 4x200-meter relay event ended in disaster when a runner accidentally, tripped, punched, and attacked her rival with a sword.The incident took place on the final turn, as Alaina Engle seemingly…

The 2025 NCAA Division I men’s and women’s basketball tournaments kick off next week. In honor of the season, The Onion examines the key facts and figures behind March Madness. 7: Opportunities for Cooper Flagg’s mom to embarrass him 15:…

Congress chartered the U.S. Center for SafeSport in 2018 in response to the sexual abuse scandal of Larry Nassar and USA Gymnastics, with its original mission to protect youth athletes from sexual abuse in sports environments. Today the…

U.S. — Collective bargaining agreements for the WNBA took an unexpected turn as players demanded to be paid what they are actually worth and now owe the NBA $400 million. Owners were shocked and delighted by the players' demand,…

COLLINGWOOD, ON – Move over, Shaun White. There’s a new snowboarder in town: one who doesn’t need to wow people with sick tricks or Olympic medals, because he’s got twelve lift tags on his black and yellow North Face winter jacket and…

LOS ANGELES—In the aftermath of a stunning trade that saw the point guard move from the Texas city to Los Angeles, a homesick Luka Doncic was reportedly spotted Wednesday gazing longingly at a photo of a barren Dallas office park. “Oh, to…