Sports

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HOUSTON, TX — The baseball world breathed a sigh of relief as notorious criminal Angel Hernandez was finally apprehended in Houston last night and charged with hundreds of egregious crimes against humanity."It's all on video, bub," said…

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NEW YORK—Earning widespread acclaim from romance readers, a dildo embossed with the text “He’s a famous hockey player” had shot to the top of The New York Times’ paperback trade fiction bestsellers list this week. “Once you start, it’s…

U.S. — Despite all things football being on hold during the offseason, NFL referees showed their dedication to their jobs yesterday in preparing for next season by staring at the solar eclipse.The officials said they wanted to be in top…

CLEVELAND, OH — Following a heartbreaking loss that capped what had been a storybook run in the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament, Iowa standout Caitlin Clark announced her plan to retire from the spotlight and fade into obscurity with the…

CLEVELAND, OH — Prior to the NCAA championship game, South Carolina Women's basketball coach Dawn Staley announced a pair of exciting incoming freshmen recruits named Greg and Dave."Forget Caitlin -- let's see how her scoring record holds…

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U.S. — With a segment of fans longing for the excitement of previous eras of the game, Major League Baseball took a step to regain popularity by announcing one player per team would be allowed to take steroids.While the sport has maintained…

ALBANY, NY — Thousands of fans in attendance and millions of television viewers were witnesses to history, as Caitlin Clark was canonized as a saint after performing the miracle of making women's basketball watchable.The unprecedented feat…