Sports

GLENDALE, AZ—Mumbling as he spoke and attempting to brush a strand of hair behind his ear, a shy Andy Reid reportedly asked the Philadelphia Eagles Sunday if they remembered him. “Hi, my name is Andy, do you remember?” said the Kansas City…

GLENDALE, AZ—When asked how he felt about the hotly anticipated Super Bowl LVII, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell told reporters Sunday that he was just hoping for a competitive game where no one died on field, mentioned the league’s record…

GLENDALE, AZ — The Super Bowl referees held a brief meeting before the game began to go ahead and decide which team will take home the Lombardi trophy."Alright, let's get this over with. Who are we going to take?" asked head referee Larry…

PHILADELPHIA, PA — To prepare for the aftermath of either winning or losing a football game, the citizens of Philadelphia have decided to pre-emptively raze the city to the ground."One way or the other it's going to burn," said local man…

GLENDALE, AZ — The Super Bowl flyover team featuring exclusively female pilots has informed NFL officials that they are running a "little behind.""We'll be right there! Sorry!" radioed pilot Amy Donaldson to an antsy crew at the stadium.…

PHOENIX—Knocking furiously on Roger Goodell’s hotel room door to ask if the NFL commissioner had changed his mind, brothers Jason and Travis Kelce were overheard Sunday begging the league to let them play on the same team for the Super…

FREDERICTON – During tonight’s Super Bowl broadcast viewers will see a new ad encouraging tourists to visit scenic New Brunswick, which the province financed by selling off the city of Moncton. “We’re viewing this ad as a marketing…

If you’ve ever had the misfortune of being acquainted with a die-hard Philadelphia Eagles fan, then you know that it is highly inadvisable to say any of the following things.Advertisement2 / 20“Stop, you’re destroying my store!”List…

While it’s best to avoid engaging with them at all, if you must talk to someone who is a member of “Chiefs Nation,” here are things you should never say.Advertisement2 / 20“How’d they manage to become as despised as the Patriots so…

Onion Sports shares its expert analysis on the team that will come away with victory in Super Bowl LVII.AdvertisementPredictionList slidesPredictionCheck back in two weeks: Our pet gerbil who correctly predicts the outcome of the Super Bowl…