Sports

TAMPA, FL — After her divorce with Tom Brady becomes finalized, supermodel Gisele Bundchen is expected to own three times as many Super Bowl rings as legendary Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers."Gosh, that can't be right," said…

TORONTO – For years Connor McDavid has been seen as the fastest force in hockey but now insiders are wondering whether he has been bested by a new competitor: the sponsors getting away from Hockey Canada as quickly as possible. “Connor…

GAINESVILLE, FL — Despite installing a new "Trinity Wishbone" offense during fall camp, PragerU has once again found itself dead last in the NCAA after a 94-0 drubbing at the hands of the Florida Gators."I don't know where it went wrong. We…

WICHITA FALLS, TX — Local man Matthew King showed up to a local disc golf course not even remotely stoned, like a total amateur."Matthew was moving um, way fast, on his legs." said disc golf aficionado Steve Porter. "I don't think he knows…

OTTAWA – As they continue to resist calls for institutional change, Hockey Canada officials are promising Canadians that they will be able to eliminate the rape culture currently pervasive in youth and professional hockey without replacing…

NEW YORK CITY, NY — Serbian tennis star Novak Djokovic has been declared the champion of the 2022 US Open, as all the other contestants have died suddenly of mysterious heart attacks. US Open Chair Patrick Galbraith made the announcement…

SANDY SPRINGS, GA — According to sources, famed college football coach Brian Kelly stubbornly refused to listen to local man Mark Johnson when he repeatedly yelled "CALL A TIME OUT!!!" at his TV."My heart was just breaking for him," his…

TORONTO – According to local sources, Umpire Thomas Beck is thrilled that his 12-year-old son will have the opportunity to watch him work and be heckled at a Major League Baseball game. “Knowing Clayton is there in the crowd just makes the…

In the wake of the horrific accusations of sexual assault at numerous World Juniors events, Hockey Canada has so far stuck by its CEO and upper management, even reaching out to former sponsors and asking them to come back with the situation…

NEW YORK - Unknown last-minute entrant Novako Djomuñoz has suddenly become the talk of the U.S. Open tennis tournament, showing world-class talent as he swept through qualifiers."I'm very proud of -- um, I mean, no habló inglés," said Mr.…