Sports

Aaron Rodgers Beats Fiancée, Murders A Few Guys On The Street So NFL Will Embrace Him Again GREEN BAY, WI—Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers stirred up controversy last week when it was discovered that instead of taking the…

NASCAR Announces All Fans Must Wear Top Hats, Monocles, May Only Golf Clap And Say 'Good Show' U.S.—After banning the popular chant "Let's Go Biden", NASCAR officials have confirmed that no cheering or chanting of any kind will be allowed…

You don’t have to like Aaron Rodgers to pump your fist when he drops COVID truth bombs on a hit sports talk show. The Green Bay Packers quarterback, who is currently under fire from the COVID scolds for being “secretly” unvaccinated and…

NEW YORK CITY – In the wake of revelations concerning the horrific sexual assault of Kyle Beach and the Chicago Blackhawks subsequent coverup, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman promised players, fans and sponsors that the NHL would never allow…

PETA Calls On MLB To Rename 'Bats' As Name Is Offensive To Nocturnal Flying Animals U.S.—People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which we are assured is a real organization and not satirical, has called upon the MLB to change the name…

There is virtually nothing that leftists can do that in their own minds isn’t a stunning act of valor, even as most people can recognize whatever they’ve done as mediocre or, at best, unremarkable. Case in point, writing in The Washington…

SAN JOSE – After being caught for forging his proof of COVID-19 vaccination, San Jose Sharks left winger Evander Kane says he would have to intentionally lose nearly a dozen games to make up for the $1.7 million for a 21 game suspension. “I…

TORONTO – As the Maple Leafs take to the ice to begin their season, MLSE PR have announced a number of pre-game festivities, including the usual apology for the catastrophic failure that was last season. “Tonight’s home opener will include…

Guy Named Brandon Attending College Football Game Feeling Really Good About Himself Right Now LEXINGTON, KY—A guy named Brandon attending a college football game today said that he is feeling "really good about himself" after yet another…

Despite the COVID hysterics who warned you otherwise, a college-football game did not lead to a spike in positive cases. NRPLUS MEMBER ARTICLE W ith the college-football season now under way, familiar voices — in the media and elsewhere…