sportswear

WASHINGTON—In the latest study on how the existential threat of global warming is affecting mental health, the Environmental Protection Agency revealed Wednesday that climate anxiety had increased now that rising sea levels were expected to…

LOS ANGELES—Sealing the padded envelopes after stuffing in a few pairs of lightly soiled boxers, Matt Damon reportedly scrambled to make rent Friday by selling his used underwear online. “Fuck, if I don’t get these thongs out the door, I’m…

CUDDEBACKVILLE, NY—Raising speculation as to whether the team was age-eligible for the game, incredulous little league sources confirmed Friday that Westchester Tigers players had their last names on the back of their jerseys. “These kids…

CORONADO, CA—Lamenting the fact that he felt the need to hide beneath a wetsuit, an oxygen tank, and an aqualung life vest, onlookers told reporters Thursday that the Navy Seal they saw swimming in full tactical gear must have terrible body…