staple foods

WASHINGTON—Calling the effort a major step forward in accommodating the needs of allergic citizens, President Joe Biden announced Monday his plan to set aside all land west of the Mississippi River as a gluten-free zone. “Today, my…

DANVILLE, KY—Determined to complete the task though her progress was slowed by the root vegetable continually slipping from her arthritic grasp, local grandmother Dolores Wheeler reportedly spent all of Wednesday peeling a single potato.…

WASHINGTON—Stressing that the big game wouldn’t be the same without the iconic ancient grains, the nation’s quinoa and spelt producers warned of shortages Friday as Americans stocked up for Super Bowl LVIII. “As usually happens this time of…

SEYMOUR, IN—Expressing astonishment over her husband’s about-face regarding the root vegetable, local mother Connie Keeley reportedly told her children Monday that she was proud of their father, Paul, 56, for trying a sweet potato. “You…