Star Wars

If you thought losing hundreds of millions of dollars would deter The Walt Disney Company from continuing its embrace of leftist politics, think again. On Saturday, Disney’s Lucasfilm released “Star Wars: Tales of the Empire,” an anthology…

Nearly three years after the Star Wars franchise owners fired her from the hit TV series “The Mandalorian” over a repost on social media, producer and actress Gina Carano plans to sue Disney’s Lucasfilm for caving to a “bullying smear…

Zack Snyder has been a controversial filmmaker for decades. Not because of his politics or the things we usually associate with controversy, but because almost every project he does is creatively divisive. His latest project for Netflix,…

BURBANK, CA—Calling the series a grueling but ultimately hopeful addition to the sci-fi universe, streaming service Disney+ debuted Dagobah Diaries this week, a show about Yoda’s battle against testicular cancer. “Having squared off against…

To no one’s surprise, this past week Disney announced it will soon begin producing even more sequels. In a quarterly earnings call, the company’s one true ruler, CEO Bob Iger, announced Disney Studios will soon start production on “Zootopia…

GRAVENHURST, ON ― Local middle manager and willful snob Kenneth Thomas had a fantastic time last night, when a party he attended gave him a chance to casually reveal to a host of new people that he has never seen a single episode of Star…

LOS ANGELES — An iconic part of Star Wars lore is finally getting its day in the sweltering sun. The Mos Eisley cantina band, comprising seven Bith who love jizz, is getting its own Disney+ series set on the desert planet of Tatooine. No,…

TORONTO – Local man Terrance Matthews has reported to his friends that he couldn’t relate to Turning Red’s main character while still deeply relating to Luke Skywalker from Star Wars. “The important part of crafting a story is to make…

NEW YORK CITY – Cheers turned to screams today at Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade when a robe malfunction resulted in the Baby Yoda balloon exposing his no-longer-private parts to thousands of onlookers present at the parade and millions of…

EDMONTON – People invited to the Katie Carmichael-Chris Everett wedding were horrified to discover that the invitations featured lightsabers and X-Wings. “Jesus Christ, it says ‘Come celebrate a scruffy-looking nerf herder finding his…