street food

INDIANAPOLIS—Admitted with complaints that it had been hard to tell the difference between their fingers and their food, everyone in Unity Medical Center emergency room Friday had bitten a digit off their hand while holding a sandwich,…

CHICAGO—Contemplating what he presumed was one of the most sought-after meals in all the city, local man Ron Steward told reporters Wednesday that a pizza slice at John’s Pizza & More had to be really delicious to be served from behind…

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MONTGOMERY, AL—In a case aimed at preserving what plaintiffs described as the sanctity of reheatable Tex-Mex fare, Alabama’s Supreme Court issued a ruling Tuesday in which it asserted that frozen burritos are children. “With this decision,…

MILWAUKEE, WI—Applauding the astute businessperson for seizing upon the market opportunity, sources confirmed Monday that a shrewd entrepreneur had opened a burrito place in the former site of a failed burrito place. “Well, it seems some…

FORT LIBERTY, NC—As he signed and muttered, “Here we go again,” 13-year-old Army brat Logan Crawshaw was reportedly kicking himself Tuesday after learning his family would be moving just as he was getting comfortable with a new regional…

IRVINE, CA—Ambivalently promoting the menu item in a media campaign that launched Friday, a new Taco Bell ad urges customers to consider whether they are actually interested in trying the fast food restaurant’s Beefy 5-Layer Burrito. “Look,…

NEW YORK—Smiling broadly as he entered the polling place, mayoral candidate Andrew Yang tried to buy a banana from a voting booth, election workers confirmed Tuesday. “I’ll have a banana and a coffee, then I’ll get out of your hair—you’re…

BEVERLY, MA—Explaining that minor inconveniences weren’t worth fretting over, laid-back local man Tom Glickstein told reporters Monday that he felt ready and able to take whatever the sandwich he was currently eating threw his way. “I…