subway

SHELTON, CT—Saying it had severed all ties with the sandwich in the wake of disturbing new evidence from a federal investigation, the fast food franchise Subway confirmed Monday that its Chicken and Bacon Ranch Melt was also sexually…

VATICAN CITY—Concluding that high-ranking church officials had concealed evidence of the former Subway spokesman preying on young children, a baffling report released Monday found that the Vatican also tried to cover up Jared Fogle’s sexual…

Is a man who uses his firearm to foil a crime a hero or a villain? According to New York City, people like John Rote, who saved a woman in a subway station by firing a warning shot to deter a robber demanding her purse, are vigilantes who…

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NEW YORK—Becoming the latest victim in a string of similar incidents taking place near the fast food franchise, local man Brandon Turner reportedly died Wednesday after being pushed by a stranger into a Subway restaurant. “You could see the…

Daniel Penny is not going quietly to the slaughter. The 24-year-old Marine Corps veteran who took action when fellow subway passengers were being threatened by a maniacal homeless person has lawyered up and will need all the legal help he…

TORONTO, ON — Torontonian Mark Law has won a highly competitive local race, finishing his commute as the winner of the coveted “Seated Train Ride Home”. On Line 1 at Bloor-Yonge Station, Law beat out a university student, an exhausted…

MILFORD, CT—With new genetic evidence tying Covid-19 to animals sold at a wet market in Wuhan, China, Subway CEO John Chidsey confirmed Friday that he had just assumed this whole time that the virus originated with the restaurant chain’s…

TORONTO – Alberta’s provincial government has launched a full court press to convince Ontarians sick and tired of dealing with all the Province’s problems to move to Alberta so they can deal with its different though equally as numerous…

TORONTO – As a means to deter young loiterers, TTC officials have begun playing a classical music compilation over the Dundas subway station intercom, which in turn has attracted groups of elderlies. “This was supposed to be a genius…