Super Bowl

PHILADELPHIA—Looking dead-eyed into the distance as it slowly dawned on him what he had done, a visibly distraught Jalen Carter reportedly fled the Eagles Super Bowl celebration Friday after commandeering a parade float. “Oh, goddamn it,…

PHILADELPHIA—With a hush falling over the city as millions choose to stay indoors and focus on taking deep, slow breaths, Philadelphia residents have been enjoying a quiet week of Super Bowl victory reflection, serene sources confirmed…

Super Bowl LIX was boring. The Eagles flew away with the lead early and kept it. The Chiefs failed to do what they’ve been doing, coming from behind under seemingly insurmountable odds to pull off a victory. But what about the…

With a couple of exceptions, most notably from the NFL itself, the ads for Super Bowl LIX tried their best to charm viewers with feel-good schmaltz. A “Country Roads” singalong, Harrison Ford driving a Jeep, Glen Powell driving a Ram truck…

PHILADELPHIA—Bravely responding to a citywide crisis, humanitarian organizations from across the globe arrived in Philadelphia early Monday to feed the city’s hungover residents. “We cannot in good conscience allow these people to stay this…

In New Orleans on Sunday, the Kansas City Chiefs made history — just not the kind of history they had in mind. The Philadelphia Eagles spectacularly thwarted the Chiefs’ attempt to become the first team to win three straight Super Bowls.…

WASHINGTON D.C. – After an estimated 113 million Americans tuned in to watch Super Bowl LIX, the nation arose Monday morning to discover that Canadian forces had used the opportunity to once again burn down their White House. As nearly a…

Every rap fan following the drama of Kendrick Lamar’s “Not Like Us” track, which disses fellow rapper Drake, was dying to see if he would mention Drake during the Super Bowl halftime show. He did. Last week, “Not Like Us” won a Grammy Award…

Trump Asks Which One The Ball - The Onion News In Photos Share Published: February 9, 2025 More News in Photos Explore Tags Read More…

Travis Kelce Plays Super Bowl In Gucci Bucket Helmet - The Onion News In Photos Share Published: February 9, 2025 More News in Photos Explore Tags…