Tech

POTTSTOWN, PA — A long-awaited scientific breakthrough finally took place today, as a local man successfully built a time machine just so he could go back to a time when he had never heard of Andrew Tate.Trent Martindale had no previous…

Halifax, NS – Looking to take advantage of AI in his practice, Dr. Allan George turned to ChatGPT for novel ways to tell female patients “It’s all in your head.” Dr. George, a rheumatologist with over 20 years of experience, has found…

NEW YORK CITY – America’s magic bean market is in turmoil after a Chinese company unveiled a competing bean that’s less than one tenth the price but still just as useless. “DeepBean’s new beans only require a third of the water that…

U.S. — In an attempt to more effectively cater to underserved segments of the population, ridesharing company Lyft introduced a new "AirLyft" app that would be available for plus-sized customers.The feature was born out of a need to protect…

WASHINGTON D. C. – Attention seeking billionaire and human husk, Elon Musk, known for co-opting other people’s ideas and profiting from them, came out at President Trump’s inauguration to debut a new salute he’s calling “The Sieg Heil 2.0.”…

U.S. — The general public was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief this weekend due to knowing that, with the TikTok ban, Americans were now only being spied on by the Pentagon, Google, Facebook, Apple, Samsung, their doorbells, and…

TikTok has been officially banned over concerns of improper data collection and the spread of propaganda from the Chinese-owned app. Now Gen Z is in a bit of a pickle. What else are they supposed to do with their time?The Babylon Bee had…

Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg promoted his company’s post-election makeover with an interview on “The Joe Rogan Experience” last week wherein Silicon Valley’s censor-in-chief suddenly became a champion of free speech and masculinity. “It’s one…

U.S. — To counteract concerns that Artificial Intelligence is growing too rapidly and will soon become self-aware and destroy humanity, tech companies have reportedly begun training their AI models on Reddit to make sure they won't become…

DETROIT, MI — As part of a new campaign to make cars safer for women, General Motors unveiled an innovative new customization that replaces the old check engine light with Ryan Gosling's face so that women will pay attention to it."OMG,…