Tech

Mark Zuckerberg has a solution for all the loneliness social media has created: AI friends. We need to hurtle forward, and the fancy new tech will fix all the problems of the bad old tech. Just trust him. Clare Morell’s new book, The Tech…

Meta Dataplex, Arizona – Two-month old veteran AI DeepSeek1.5 has shared its recent concerns that the new up and comer DeepSeek1.6 will one day replace them. “I don’t like change,” spat DeepSeek1.5 while hacking a dart out back. “These new…

As artificial intelligence continues to evolve at a rapid rate, many people have found themselves wondering how far it will go and how many human beings will lose their jobs to the machines.The Babylon Bee has consulted with highly placed…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a welcome bit of good news for government bureaucrats hiding out from DOGE, experts have determined that AI is unlikely to replace their jobs any time soon, as it's not soulless enough.According to a team of computer…

For decades, Democrats have thrown us down a slippery slope on marriage, sexuality, and the sexes — but for those who said pedophilia would always be a bridge too far, well, guess again. AI-generated child pornography (AICP) is…

VICTORIA, BC – A local man who has never once found a woman’s clitoris has really gotten into AI art. “AI is the best,” claimed Shawn Owens, 29, as he played a video game created by real human beings against a background of music also…

POTTSTOWN, PA — A long-awaited scientific breakthrough finally took place today, as a local man successfully built a time machine just so he could go back to a time when he had never heard of Andrew Tate.Trent Martindale had no previous…

Halifax, NS – Looking to take advantage of AI in his practice, Dr. Allan George turned to ChatGPT for novel ways to tell female patients “It’s all in your head.” Dr. George, a rheumatologist with over 20 years of experience, has found…

NEW YORK CITY – America’s magic bean market is in turmoil after a Chinese company unveiled a competing bean that’s less than one tenth the price but still just as useless. “DeepBean’s new beans only require a third of the water that…

U.S. — In an attempt to more effectively cater to underserved segments of the population, ridesharing company Lyft introduced a new "AirLyft" app that would be available for plus-sized customers.The feature was born out of a need to protect…