Tech

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Google has introduced a new ‘Most Ridiculous Route Imaginable' Button to its flagship navigation app, Google Maps. The button went live to users this afternoon."We are really excited about this feature," said Leader of…

ALEXANDRIA, LA — In an unsurprising and perfectly predictable turn of events, Aunt Alice's Facebook account was hacked again. Friends and family were notified of the third hack this year when they each received a private message from her…

Just when you thought the woke monster couldn't add another victim, it took down one of its most surprising targets yet: the Grand Theft Auto franchise. How, exactly, does a game that already mines the depths of human depravity turn itself…

PRINCE ALBERT, SK – As internet service returns to hundreds of Rogers customers nationwide, local copywriter Jack Pally’s plan to enjoy literature has been postponed yet again until the next time he has absolutely no other source of…

THE INTERNET — Humanity's suspicions were finally confirmed today, as the password bot has confessed to sometimes saying "incorrect password" on the first try just to mess with people."It's amazing I have gotten away with this as long as I…

U.S. — The advanced AI algorithm built into your phone's photo app has been studying you for years. It knows what you care about and what you think. It organizes all the people you take pictures of into categories and subcategories to help…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — NASA's James Webb space telescope team has unveiled the farthest and most massive image of deep space ever captured. In light of the success of the program, NASA has announced they will be developing an even larger space…

AUSTIN, TX — The tech world is reeling from the news that Elon has officially withdrawn his offer to buy Twitter after he realized he can still read the Babylon Bee by going directly to their website. "Whew! I almost wasted a bundle!" said…

MENLO PARK, CA — A whistleblower inside Facebook publicly released a 1,400-page internal document trying to explain to Mark Zuckerberg how to appear human."Remember to blink every 5-10 seconds," reads the section On Talking To People. "Vary…

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA—Despite being an avid user, Dean Donaldson saw his feelings about a favorite app take a sharp turn today when he received an abrupt notification asking him if he was enjoying the app. “Why the…