Tech

Whistleblower Fired From Facebook For Constantly Blowing Whistle While Everyone Was Trying To Program MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook finds itself in a new scandal, as a whistleblower, Alice Singleton, says she has been fired from the company for…

TORONTO — Yesterday Rogers hit customers with an Entertainment Tax after a wild week of very public corporate shenanigans drew comparisons to prestige dramas Succession and Game of Thrones. “Our telecommunications giant Rogers…

VAN HORN, TX – Despite being in space for a mere ten minutes, the man who played Captain Kirk in the 1960s version of Star Trek managed to seduce a sexy Klingon, a USS Enterprise psychologist, and a shapeshifter. William Shatner had several…

Car Manufacturers Target Women With New Warning Lights Reading 'Check Engine, Or Don't, Whatever, It's Probably No Big Deal' WORLD—Car manufacturers around the world are aiming to increase sales to women by replacing traditional "check…

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—A hot new Silicon Valley startup allows you to send someone to loot stores in San Francisco and other Democrat-controlled cities with no laws against looting. You can loot from the comfort of your home with just a few…

WORLD—In one of the worst disasters humanity has faced since the dawn of civilization, Facebook and Instagram are now back online. "Yeah, it's kind of awkward that Facebook is back now because humanity already moved on," said Jane…

YouTube To Ban All Videos Except The One Showing Stephen Colbert Dancing With People Dressed As Vaccines SAN BRUNO, CA—In an effort to prevent the spread of anti-vax misinformation, YouTube has announced that all videos that have ever been…

Rogers has revealed a brand new plan that gives unlimited data for low, low cost of your mortal soul. “It is but a trifle. A small thing.” says Yog Sothothery, high priest of Rogers Communication Division. “We give you access to all the…

Cambridge, Massachusetts ― A team of engineers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology unveiled the world’s first artificial stupidity prototype yesterday. They have dubbed their project the Artificial Stupidity System, or ASS for…

MENLO PARK, CA – Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has announced the release of Horizon Workrooms, an ultra-high-tech solution to the age-old problem of your boss needing to find new and expensive ways to pull you away from your work to have an…