Tech

HANWELL, MO—New parents everywhere rejoice! Montana-based manufacturer AttaBabe has created a new infant's car seat that has solved one of the most frustrating things about transporting tots: Car seats are nearly impossible to get…

Alexa Helpfully Interrupts Couple's Argument To Provide Recordings Of Their Previous Conversations DOUGLASVILLE, GA—Dave and Melinda Georgio were having a bitter dispute about work Melinda wanted Dave to do around the house earlier today.…

U.S.—A new Uber service called UberJog promises to let you call an expert runner to go on a run on your behalf. The Uber employee will jog to your house, put you on his back, and run for a few miles. If you're wearing a Fitbit, he can put…

HOUSTON, TX—As a tribute to the 50th anniversary of its fake moon landing, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration has announced a reboot of the staged event that fooled billions worldwide, only this time featuring an all-female…

U.S.—NASA's plan to put a woman on the moon was abruptly canceled in the planning stages after the female astronauts signed up for the mission found out how cold it gets on the moon. "Negative 280 degrees Fahrenheit during the night? No…

Uber Introduces UberAir For Megachurch Pastors Who Can't Afford Their Own Luxury Jets SAN FRANCISCO, CA—In an effort to expand their mission to make transportation increasingly accessible, Uber announced the launch of their new service,…

Smartphone That Passed Barrage Of Brutal Durability Tests During Development Broken By Toddler In Three Seconds MOORE, OK—A smartphone that was designed over many years at great cost to the manufacturer, tested over and over again for…

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA—A self-checkout machine at a local Walmart store was selected to be honored as the employee of the month for the fifty-second month in a row, sources confirmed Thursday. The checkout machine was recognized for its…

CALLAHAN, FL—During an otherwise typical Sunday morning worship service, the congregation at Grace Community Fellowship were blindsided when sound guy Tad Barclay accidentally unmuted the worship team’s background singers. The mishap…

U.S.—A new keyboard designed exclusively for fierce internet warriors comes with a built-in "Well, Akshully" key. The key helps you start your arguments on the internet with ease. The keyboard is being released by startup company…