Tech

Well, this is odd. Google's self-driving cars all seem to be veering hard to the left for some reason.  The driverless vehicles also refuse to make any right turns at intersections, emitting a blaring "BIGOT ALERT" error should they attempt…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—A new environmental proposal would have the US replace all public and private spacecraft with high-speed trains by the year 2030, reports confirmed Thursday. "We are wasting so much rocket fuel to generate the thrust…

Tinder Creators Developing Bible App To Enable Swiping Left On Undesirable Verses WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA — Known for its flagship app Tinder, online dating powerhouse Match Group is now developing a new Bible app that allows readers to swipe…

NEW YORK, NY—Local man Frank Wilbur has been stuck in a group chat with his family for the past three years and had resigned himself to the fact that he would be inundated with a steady stream of text messages, pictures, emojis, and…

SEATTLE, WA—In a software rollout that went live Thursday, Amazon updated Alexa's programming to better understand your thoughts. Products with Alexa have always been able to listen to your thoughts, but the new update will help Alexa delve…

LOS ANGELES, CA—Elon Musk just announced he'll be scrapping his plans for a tunnel underneath the 405 freeway in Los Angeles after his boring crews delved too greedily and too deep, unearthing a Balrog deep under the city. "Our crews delved…

Adorable: This Little Critter Crawled Right Up To The Mars Lander And Gave It A Big Hug MARS—Cuteness overload alert! This little critter of an unknown alien species crawled right up to the InSight Mars lander and tried to give it a big hug…

Jack Dorsey: 'Let Me Be Clear: Twitter Is A Platform For ANY And ALL Ideas I Wholeheartedly Agree With' SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Responding to growing criticism resulting from a rash of recent account suspensions carried out for seemingly…

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—In an attempt to preserve its reputation as a place of toxic interaction and owning each other online, Twitter has announced an exciting new feature that allows users to flag all civil, appropriate content on the platform.…

WORLD—After Facebook suffered a brief period of outages and technical errors this morning, utopia suddenly broke out around the world, multiple sources across the globe were reporting Tuesday. Dogs and cats began lying down together in…