Tech

U.S. - A temporary limit on how many tweets people may view each day has forced local man Dave Akin to interact with the real world."Welp, guess I'll have to talk to a real human," said Mr. Akin after hitting his limit. "What else do people…

BOCA CHICA, TX — Witnesses claim the inaugural MMA training session for Twitter CEO Elon Musk began in confusion as UFC fighter Georges St-Pierre calmly explained to the world's richest man that no, mind-control flamethrower drones were not…

ST. LOUIS, MO — According to sources inside the Anheuser-Busch company, scientists at Bud Light have been hard at work on a time machine that would go back about six months.No one really knows exactly why six months is the target amount of…

HARRISON, AR — A local man was excited by the announcement of Apple's new augmented reality headset but was left disappointed by the high price tag. Unable to afford the new headset, the man has found the next best thing by duct-taping his…

CUPERTINO, CA — In a show of goodwill toward the loyal young employees who make its success possible, Apple has announced they will allow their child laborers in Asia to wear the company's new virtual reality headset to help them feel like…

U.S. — The tech world is abuzz over an innovative new productivity app now available for iPhone and Android. The app is said to boost productivity by simply turning the phone off for a very long time. "This is a genius solution," said…

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TULSA, OK — A local man who has never read a page of science fiction has reportedly sung praises at how great A.I. will be for humanity, insisting it will bring forth a fruitful world of peace and prosperity."Just think how great life will…

ALBUQUERQUE, NM — Despite stern warnings of artificial intelligence attacking humanity's digital infrastructure from the likes of Elon Musk and Bill Gates, artificial intelligence research has yet to be regulated by the government or other…

DETROIT, MI — Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg recently purchased female crash test dummies in order to restore gender equity in automobile crash testing and safety. Researchers are still unsure how to extract helpful data from the…