Tech

CORUSCANT — Emperor Palpatine was said to be very pleased with the latest ballistics report on stormtrooper marksmanship, as the Imperial Army's collective accuracy percentage improved dramatically after adding pistol braces to all…

MENLO PARK, CA — In an exciting announcement, Facebook/Meta founder Mark Zuckerberg unveiled his new social media app Threads which will not only compete with Twitter but also give the government a new platform it can actively censor."With…

U.S. - A temporary limit on how many tweets people may view each day has forced local man Dave Akin to interact with the real world."Welp, guess I'll have to talk to a real human," said Mr. Akin after hitting his limit. "What else do people…

BOCA CHICA, TX — Witnesses claim the inaugural MMA training session for Twitter CEO Elon Musk began in confusion as UFC fighter Georges St-Pierre calmly explained to the world's richest man that no, mind-control flamethrower drones were not…

ST. LOUIS, MO — According to sources inside the Anheuser-Busch company, scientists at Bud Light have been hard at work on a time machine that would go back about six months.No one really knows exactly why six months is the target amount of…

HARRISON, AR — A local man was excited by the announcement of Apple's new augmented reality headset but was left disappointed by the high price tag. Unable to afford the new headset, the man has found the next best thing by duct-taping his…

CUPERTINO, CA — In a show of goodwill toward the loyal young employees who make its success possible, Apple has announced they will allow their child laborers in Asia to wear the company's new virtual reality headset to help them feel like…

U.S. — The tech world is abuzz over an innovative new productivity app now available for iPhone and Android. The app is said to boost productivity by simply turning the phone off for a very long time. "This is a genius solution," said…

#pubg-adhesion { z-index: 100000000; position: fixed; bottom: 0; bottom: env(safe-area-inset-bottom); left: 0; right: 0; text-align: center; pointer-events: none; display: none; line-height: 1; font-size: 0; white-space: nowrap; }…

TULSA, OK — A local man who has never read a page of science fiction has reportedly sung praises at how great A.I. will be for humanity, insisting it will bring forth a fruitful world of peace and prosperity."Just think how great life will…