ted cruz

In a recently surfaced video from 2022, House Speaker Mike Johnson reveals that he and his son use anti-porn software to monitor and eliminate each other’s temptations to view erotica and sexually explicit material. The Onion asked porn…

Start SlideshowWith the Palestinian death toll rapidly rising and conditions in Gaza deteriorating into a humanitarian crisis amid the Israeli invasion, The Onion asked politicians why they will not endorse a ceasefire, and this is what…

While most trolls are primarily confined to the worst corners of the internet, some, like Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), live to wreak havoc in the real world. The Onion asked trolls, shitposters, and internet provocateurs why they love the…

Few American CEOs have kowtowed to the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) as much as Apple’s Tim Cook. But Cook’s bet on China, often at considerable reputational risk for him and his company, got a harsh reality check after Beijing recently…

President Joe Biden issued a sweeping executive order last year on Central Bank Digital Currency (CBDC), which “places the highest urgency on research and development efforts into the potential design and deployment options of a United…

In a Friday appearance on “Verdict,” the popular podcast hosted by Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), Phil McGraw argued children are “being targeted with what they will click on, full-well knowing that it creates anxiety, depression, loneliness,…

“I’m sick and tired of everyone pretending like the Dewey Decimal System is the best cataloging system. It’s sick. Metis and BISAC and the Universal Decimal Classification have shown us time and again that there are better ways. Heck, even…

Presidential wannabes don’t have to back ethanol subsidies to win in Iowa. Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz proved that much when he carried the caucuses in 2016. On Thursday, however, millionaire biotech entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy decided…

“It’s already too big, if you ask me. After all, the Power Rangers only had five people. I guess technically six, if you count Tommy, the Green Ranger, who would become the White Ranger at the end of season two, but that’s still less than…

Start SlideshowTexas residents are currently experiencing temperatures of up to 120 degrees Fahrenheit as a result of an extended “heat dome” hovering over the state. The Onion asked Texans how they felt about the deadly weather, and this…