the super bowl

FRISCO, TX—Having finally given in after years of feeling compelled to be more like everyone else, the societal pressure to conform appeared to be doing nothing but favors for area man Scott Gilcrest, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Doing…

DETROIT—Dashing any hope he had for the upcoming season, Lions fan Paul Benson told reporters Thursday that Detroit was “so screwed” after seeing they got matched up against other teams again. “Ah, shit, this season is gonna suck,” said…