Theology

VATICAN CITY — Papal sources have just confirmed that the Virgin Mary miraculously appeared on Pope Francis' toast this morning. Unfortunately for the pontiff, however, the Mother of God looked pretty upset about something — no one is quite…

HEAVEN — Though many have claimed to have heard the voice of God throughout human history, the Lord will now have a voice that is highly identifiable by all people, as a representative from Heaven confirmed that the deceased James Earl…

OXFORD — Theologians have begun intensely debating whether God is capable of designing an IKEA bookcase that He cannot assemble.The hotly contested argument arose among well-respected theological minds after one divinity student raised the…

Amid an ongoing national conversation around IVF after Alabama’s Supreme Court ruling, attempts by both Republicans and Democrats to “protect IVF,” and Tim Walz’s Stolen Vitro controversy, the Dallas Morning News published, “I’m a pro-life…

The classical schooling movement has become a source of retrieval, revival even, of so many sources of knowledge and human flourishing abandoned by modernity. The classical Christian school can also renew the rich Christian heritage and…

The thing about The Return of the King is that the king, well, returns. Despite his professed love for J.R.R. Tolkien’s work, David French seems to have missed this aspect of Tolkien’s conclusion to The Lord of the Rings. Writing for…

STEUBENVILLE, OH — Roman Catholics and Protestants across America released a joint statement that reveals how much they look forward to defeating the Left so that they can get back to more entertaining engagements like fighting each other…

LOS ANGELES, CA — In a scene that witnesses describe as chaotic, a man visiting a Bible study began to rant about the Jews killing Christ, seemingly unaware that it was actually his own sins that helped kill Jesus.The Bible study was slated…

SEBASTIA — A notable piece of Christian history was unearthed this week, as archeologists discovered the fake 100 dollar bill gospel tract that was used by Philip the evangelist during the years of the early church.The find, which scholars…

CAMBRIDGE — Following years of painstaking study about the nature of the afterlife for those who do not go to Heaven, theologians have confirmed that Hell is a nightclub where you keep yelling that you want to go home but your friends can't…